Would you know what to say?
How do I know if someone is genuinely experiencing a mental health issue? This is one of the most common questions raised by managers and colleagues in workplaces. The reality is that most of us are not qualified to diagnose mental health conditions, nor is it our role to determine whether someone's experience is "genuine" or not. A more helpful question is: **"What support does this person need right now, and what is my role in responding?"** Just as we wouldn't expect a manager to diagnose a physical injury, we shouldn't expect them to diagnose a mental health condition. What managers and colleagues can do is notice changes, have supportive conversations, and connect people with appropriate support when needed. Signs that someone may be struggling can include changes in mood, behaviour, attendance, performance, communication patterns, or interactions with others. These signs do not necessarily mean a person has a mental health condition, but they may indicate that additional support or a conversation is needed. In the workplace, the focus should remain on: * Observable behaviours and impacts * Providing support and reasonable adjustments where appropriate * Encouraging access to professional help * Maintaining confidentiality and respect * Following organisational policies and processes When we shift from trying to judge whether someone is "genuine" to understanding how we can support them, we create safer and more respectful workplaces for everyone.
What do I say if someone asks me for help with their mental health? If someone comes to you for support, the most important thing you can do is listen without judgment. You don't need to be a counsellor, psychologist, or mental health expert. Often, people simply want to feel heard, understood, and supported. You might say: * "Thank you for telling me." * "I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to talk to me." * "That sounds really difficult." * "How can I support you right now?" * "Have you spoken to anyone else about this?" * "Would you like help finding some support options?" * "You're not alone in this." Try to focus on listening rather than solving the problem immediately.
What should I avoid saying? While usually well-intentioned, comments such as the following can sometimes make people feel dismissed: * "You'll be fine." * "Everyone feels stressed." * "Just think positive." * "Others have it worse." * "You need to toughen up." * "I know exactly how you feel." Remember Your role is not to diagnose, treat, or fix someone's mental health challenges. Your role is to: * Listen * Show empathy * Encourage appropriate support * Help connect the person with professional assistance if needed Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is: **"I'm here to listen, and we'll work out together what support might help."**
What should I say if someone says they don't want to live anymore? Hearing someone say they don't want to live anymore can feel confronting, but it's important not to ignore, dismiss, or minimise what they have shared. You might respond with: * "Thank you for telling me." * "I'm really glad you told me." * "I'm sorry you're going through this." * "Can you tell me more about what's been happening?" * "When you say you don't want to live anymore, are you having thoughts of suicide?" * "Have you thought about how you might harm yourself?" * "Are you safe right now?" * "Who else can we contact to support you?" Asking directly about suicide does not put the idea into someone's head. In fact, asking clearly and respectfully can help a person feel heard and understood. What should I avoid saying? Avoid comments such as: * "You don't mean that." * "Think about your family." * "You have so much to live for." * "Don't be silly." * "You'll get over it." * "Promise me you won't do anything." While these comments are usually well-intentioned, they can make the person feel misunderstood or discourage them from talking openly. What should I do next? If the person is having thoughts of suicide, stay with them (or remain connected if speaking remotely) and help them access appropriate support. Depending on the level of risk, this may include: * Contacting a trusted family member or friend * Encouraging them to contact their doctor or mental health professional * Calling a crisis support service * Contacting emergency services if there is an immediate risk to life Remember You do not need to solve the person's problems. Your role is to: * Listen without judgment * Take what they say seriously * Ask direct questions about their safety * Help connect them with appropriate support * Seek urgent help if there is an immediate danger
What should I say if someone says they are burnt out? When someone says they are feeling burnt out, the most important thing is to listen and show genuine interest in understanding their experience. You don't need to immediately solve the problem or offer advice. Start by creating space for the person to talk. You might say: * "Thank you for telling me." * "It sounds like things have been really challenging lately." * "Can you tell me more about what's contributing to that feeling?" * "How long have you been feeling this way?" * "What impact is it having on you?" * "What support would be most helpful right now?" * "Have you had a chance to talk to anyone else about this?" ### What should I avoid saying? While often well-intentioned, comments such as these can make people feel dismissed: * "Everyone's busy." * "We're all under pressure." * "Just take a holiday." * "You'll be right." * "That's just part of the job." * "You need to be more resilient." What should I focus on? Rather than debating whether someone is "really" burnt out, focus on understanding what they are experiencing and what support may help. Look for opportunities to explore: * Workload and competing demands * Role clarity and expectations * Work-life boundaries * Support from leaders and colleagues * Recovery time and rest * Access to professional support if needed Remember Burnout is not a sign of weakness. It is often a sign that the demands being placed on a person have exceeded the resources, support, or recovery available to them. Your role is not to diagnose burnout. Your role is to: * Listen without judgment * Understand the factors contributing to the person's experience * Explore practical supports and adjustments * Encourage professional support if appropriate * Follow workplace wellbeing and psychosocial risk management processes A simple response can be: **"Thank you for telling me. It sounds like you're carrying a lot at the moment. Let's talk about what's contributing to that and what support might help."**